27-year-old keeps getting cropped out of 29-year-old boyfriend's family photos, she refuses to pose for them anymore, embarassing him: "I'm being treated like an outsider"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

What's your go-to pose when someone points a camera at you? If you're a Millennial, you probably throw up a peace sign without even thinking about it. You might even find yourself fighting the urge to not purse your lips – an old vestige of your duck face days. I've noticed that my grandparents, born in the 1950s, have a tendency to try to look stoic. They don't always smile (unless specifically prompted to), preferring to turn their face a bit from the camera and gaze off into the distance. Perhaps this posing habit is specific to my grandparents, but I do think it might be reflective of camera culture from their youth.

In our story today, our protagonist doesn't have to worry about what pose to strike when the cameraman yells "Cheese!" before a photoshoot with her boyfriend's family. That's because they always end up cropping her out anyway. When she finally calls everyone out at the latest family function, her man ends up redfaced instead of defending her. 

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  • 01

    AIO for refusing to take another "family photo" because I keep getting cropped out later?

    Cheezburger Image 10526467328
    via Syda Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for three years. His family is very close-knit, which I usually love, and we spend a lot of holidays and birthdays with them. At almost every event, someone insists
    via u/Every-Telephone127
  • 03
    on taking a big "family photo," and I'm always asked to join. But here's the issue: when the pictures get posted on Facebook or Instagram, I'm either cropped out or only included in group shots with no tags, while everyone else is tagged and featured in solo photos.
    via u/Every-Telephone127
  • 04
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    via Cedric Fauntleroy from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    It's happened at Thanksgiving, his dad's retirement party, and most recently, at his niece's birthday. I smiled, posed, even helped take some of the group
    via u/Every-Telephone127
  • 06
    shots. When I saw the post later, I was cropped out of the main family photo and only in the background of a candid shot with a blurry caption like "great night!"
    via u/Every-Telephone127
  • 07
    So at Easter, when they lined up for another "family pic," I politely declined. My boyfriend's mom said, "Come on, you're family!" and I just smiled and said, "Only until the editing starts." His mom looked
    via u/Every-Telephone127
  • 08
    offended. My boyfriend told me afterward that I embarrassed her and was "making it a thing," but I genuinely feel like I'm being treated like an outsider and expected to act like one of them. Am I overreacting?
    via u/Every-Telephone127

  • A big red flag is that not a single family member was confused. They're all in on it. At least some of them felt embarrassed about it – not BF, though!

  • 09
    ng trào thay avatar tại 8888 B
    via Tranmautritam from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    Existing_Guard9742 OP, you did nothing wrong. I realize you've been in this relationship for 3 years. And this has been going on the entire time.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 11
    Her nonresponse is telling. She knew exactly what you were referring to and you left her embarrassed and speechless
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 12
    Your BFs response is also telling. He wasn't surprised, because he's noticed it too. But turns around and scolds you for calling his family out on it.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 13
    Good for you! Now, take this a step further and really ask yourself if this is how you want to live your life? You've been treated like this by his family your entire relationship. Excluded under the pretense you're
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 14
    included. It's one thing to ask to take group pictures without you in them because you're the gf and they want a family only pic and then take another with gf/ bf. But this is in your face inclusion while in your face excluding you AND posting it for everyone to see.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 15
    Are they going to crop out your future children? Crop you out of your future group wedding photos? | mean, what is the trigger that makes this behavior end? And when does your boyfriend recognize this is wrong and shuts this sh down? Doesn't sound like he ever will.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 16
    So follow your instincts. And don't ever let him make you believe you did anything wrong. If you embarrassed her, then you nailed it and showed her you know what she's doing, and she couldn't defend
    via u/Existing_Guard9742
  • 17
    it because she knows she's wrong. Decide if she's the future MIL you want to be the grandma of your future kids. Because if your boyfriend doesn't support you with mommy dearest, he won't support his kids either.
    via u/Existing_Guard9742

  • This behavior certainly does not bode very well for the future of the relationship. It's worth having an open conversation with the family about it to get their side first. 

  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10526468096
    via Rollin With It from Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 19
    umiabze NOR, they don't actually see you as part of the core family unit. Which is possibly problematic after 3 years.
    via u/umiabze
  • 20
    Frankly, though, I put this on them and your SO -- he may not presenting you as an embedded part of a shared life (and he may not be ready to see you as such), they don't see you in that light, and/or they're just AH
    via u/umiabze
  • 21
    Fuh-Cue Nah, not being tagged is one thing but being cropped out of the pic says u don't belong. So doesn't matter if she's not active on social media or not, someone is sending the message loud and clear.
    via u/Fuh-Cue
  • 22
    Captain Pocoyo This makes a lot of sense. If your SO and his family don't fully see you as part of the core unit yet, it can definitely explain their behavior. Hopefully, talking it through with him helps clear the air.
    via u/CaptainPocoyo
  • 23
    OkRecording1299 This is it exactly, the silence was telling. No confusion or explanations, they were just mad she called them out.
    via u/OkRecording1299
  • 24
    Tremenda-Carucha Actually... OP, you're not alone in feeling hurt by this. It's like being invited to a party and then ignored all night.
    via u/Tremenda-Carucha
  • 25
    staystaystay89 Nor switch places with your bf so they can't cut you out unless they cut him out see how it makes him feel.
    via u/staystaystay89
  • 26
    ellensundies I was thinking this too. OP, stand right in the middle of the precious family group. They'll have problems cutting you out from there.
    via u/ellensundies

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boyfriend long term relationship relationship advice family drama family feud relationships girlfriend couples love family breakup red flag dating entitled people
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